Tag Archives: movie

Elfie Hopkins – the review that never was

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As a rule, I don’t read film reviews before I see a movie. I do afterwards, but not before. I have a major concern that a film review will give away potential plot-twists, thereby marring my enjoyment of the film. This is why my movie ‘reviews’ are more recommendations about whether I think a film is worth seeing or not. However, I do sometimes like to get a feel for how a film is being received. So I may have a quick glance at the Rotten Tomatoes page and read a few review headlines.

Here’s my confession. I had free preview tickets for Elfie Hopkins, which I planned to see and then write a review of. I really thought about going to see it. I’m a positive person and pretty open-minded. And I’m not here to insult a film I haven’t seen. However, the thought of wasting a good few hours of my life on what I genuinely feared could well be a fruitless pursuit, was too much for me. At the time of writing Elfie Hopkins is still at 0% on Rotten Tomatoes after 11 reviews. I think there’s a philosophical point being raised here; namely is there any benefit at all to be had from seeing a really bad movie? And when I say ‘really bad’, I mean it will insight anger within you and give you bad nightmares (do ‘good’ ones even exist?).

So I stayed in and watched the television series Homeland. This probably makes me a bad film-reviewer, but hey if President Obama likes it then surely this is ok? I’m finding Homeland very entertaining, but I wonder if part of the appeal for Obama, is to do with him being featured in the series’ opening credits?

It is a bit of shame about Elfie Hopkins. I’m sure many people put a lot of time, effort and money into making the film and no-one makes a bad film intentionally, do they?

What’s more, I was planning on doing some drawing featuring Jamie and Ray Winstone and the infamous “I’m the daddy now” quote. Oh well.

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists review

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I saw the The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists last night. I wouldn’t like to say I was dragged along to it, but I don’t normally see these sorts of films, as in ones predominantly aimed at children. However, I’d like to say immediately that this is a film that adults can enjoy as well (unashamedly). As let’s be honest, some kids’ films are so patronizingly dire, that they’ll barely entertain their target audience of 5-10 year olds, never mind the suffering adults who also have to sit through (and fund) these cinematic ordeals.

The film in the UK is rated ‘U’ with the accompanying warning, ‘for very mild language, violence, threat and innuendo’. Maybe I’m too debauched, or possibly just thick, but I couldn’t detect much, if any, innuendo. And I’d be very worried about anyone, regardless of their age, who was offended by this film.

Kids (unless they’re overly cynical teenagers) will love it and the accompanying adults shouldn’t leave the cinema contemplating suicide (or worse)

There are quite a few laugh-out-loud moments, the young child sat next to me probably thought I was some kind of lazy-eyed psycho, such was my level of guffawing. Martin Freeman is great as a dependable number two (as he is in the BBC’s Sherlock). He’s clearly a great actor, but I hope he never plays the role of a ‘baddie’. I can imagine he’d be great at organizing a Stag Do, playing pranks that are very humorous, but still in good taste. And I don’t think he’d ever be responsible for leaving the groom tied butt-naked to a lamp-post. Left at the mercy of happy slapping 14 year olds, with camera phones capable of shooting in 1080p and a predilection for uploading their adventures onto YouTube.

The animation is cracking and the voice talent is also very good. The level of detail for the characters and backgrounds is astonishing and the combination of claymation and CGI works well. At times I wanted to pause the film, so that I could appreciate all of the on-screen jokes. The film is genuinely funny and although its message centres around loyalty and integrity, it avoids the pitfall of being mawkish.

There’s a part of me that would’ve liked to see (hear?) Ian McShane as a pirate in this movie, but perhaps he sounds too pirate-y to be The Pirate Captain. Unlike the clearly unpiratelike sounding Hugh Grant, but I suppose that was a major factor for Grant’s casting. I know McShane was in that other pirate franchise, but in my eyes that’s so diabolical it doesn’t count. Maybe I just haven’t gotten over the non-appearance of Deadwood’s Season 4, nor the oft-mentioned 2 Deadwood movies, what a pity.

Anyway, if you like the Aardman stuff, then you’ll really enjoy The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists. It’s a rock-solid family movie that doesn’t patronize its audience. Kids (unless they’re overly cynical teenagers) will love it and the accompanying adults shouldn’t leave the cinema contemplating suicide (or worse).

And if you’re an adult who wants to see this film alone, you’re still on very safe territory going to see this movie.

The Cabin in the Woods review

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The Cabin in the Woods is not your run-of-the-mill horror movie. It has elements of the horror genre, but there’s a lot more to this film.

It has the usual type of youths often found in such films. The jock, the blond hottie, the sensitive guy, the female nerd (who is always still actually a hottie in slight disguise, and becomes ever more attractive as the film progresses) and the jokey male nerd. The male nerd is often the group’s idiot-savant character and the chap in this movie fulfils this role well. He’s also reminiscent of ‘Shaggy’ (from Scooby Doo, not the Singer/Rapper).

The film begins with the red-headed female nerd having a care-free conversation with her room-mate in her panties, as appears to be customary in horror movies. However, it soon becomes clear that the film’s stereotypical horror movie line-up is no accident.

I think it would be very difficult to review this film without potentially spoiling it, I prefer a policy of suggesting what types of people may enjoy it. So, with this in mind, if you enjoy horror movies, but also like to have something to think about (and possibly discuss with friends) once the credits have rolled, you should enjoy The Cabin in the Woods. You will of course, need to partake in some suspension of disbelief, but I see little point in criticising horror movies for being unrealistic, that’s what documentaries are for isn’t it?

drawing inspired by The Cabin in the Woods

A drawing inspired by The Cabin in the Woods

So I’d recommend seeing The Cabin in the Woods. It has an ambitious story-line, is also very funny in places and has some amazing scenes that look great on a big screen.

Street Dance 2

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Street Dance 2 possible scene

An artistic impression of how an extra scene from Street Dance 2 could play out.

I saw a preview screening of Street Dance 2 (3D) the other night. I won’t lie, I was concerned about seeing this, as it’s not really my type of film. And to be fair I’m probably not in the filmmaker’s target demographic.

The plot is paper-thin and merely serves as a tenuous means to link together some well-choreographed and outrageous dance routines. The movie features a culturally diverse bunch of youths, assembled from all over the world. Sort of like a Benetton advert, in which the participants are fed large doses of LSD and there’s lots of drum ‘n’ bass in the background.

A cynical adult would probably view this film as utterly ludicrous, but if one turns off their ‘old-fartometer’, they may enjoy the spectacle of extravagant dance moves performed to a pretty decent soundtrack.

X Factor fans and young ‘uns in general will probably lap it up. And those going through mid-life crises may consider that their days of D-I-S-C-O are not yet completely over.

I’m not convinced the film had to be shot in 3D. A gratuitous pillow fight seemed to be shoe-horned in, perhaps to justify this.

And there’s an aggressively jigging Amy Winehouse look-alike in there as well. Whether or not this is a push or pull factor, depends on your personal preference.

Street Dance 2 won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve seen worse. And I think I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.